Archives For Grammar Police

Verb Tense Consistency in Fiction

March 13, 2017 — 1 Comment

Grammar Police BadgeAlthough many novels today are written in the present tense, most novels are written in the past tense.  One common error that I find when critiquing manuscripts is the problem of verbs leaping from the past to the present. Tenses shouldn’t be mixed like alcohol in a punch bowl at a frat party. When writing a scene for a novel,  pick a verb tense and stick with it. Maintain verb tense consistency unless the timing of an action demands a change.

Past Tense and Present Tense

Consider the following sentences:

She threw the book across the room and screamed at the top of her lungs. (past tense)

She throws the book across the room and screams at the top of her lungs. (present tense)

A common mistake new writers make is to shift tenses in the middle of a sentence.

Incorrect:

She threw the book across the room and screams at the top of her lungs.

The incorrectly written sentence above switches from past tense (threw) to present tense (screams). Readers get confused when writers jump from past tense to present tense within the same sentence. If the action took place in the past, both verbs must reflect this.

Correct:

She threw the book across the room and screamed at the top of her lungs.

When Timing of an Action Demands a Tense Change

There are instances when the timing of an action demands a change in tense.

Incorrect:

When he plays his violin tonight, everyone is amazed.

The word “when” in the first part of the sentence indicates that an action will take place in the future; therefore, the second part of the sentence needs to account for this.

Correct:

When he plays his violin tonight, everyone will be amazed.

On the other hand, if the actions in both parts of a sentence happen together and the word “when” is used, the tense does not change.

Example:

When Sandy drinks milk products, she gets indigestion.

The sentence above means that Sandy sometimes drinks milk products. The action is habitual present. Since the second action happens when the first one does, the second verb (gets) remains in the present tense.

Consider the following sentence:

The boy threw egg at her car, after she had washed and waxed it earlier in the week.

The word “after” indicates that washing and waxing the car took place before the egg incident.  Since the egg incident happened in the past, the past perfect tense (had + verb) is used to indicate that an action took place further in the past.

Verb Tense Consistency Within Paragraphs

If a scene in a novel is written in one tense, that tense should be maintained from sentence to sentence within paragraphs unless there’s a time change.

Paragraph written in present tense:

Mary visits the zoo with her class. She gets lost and begins to cry. A clown carrying balloons walks by, but he pays no attention to her. Mary is scared. If she doesn’t find her class, the bus will leave without her. However, her teacher usually conducts a roll call on the bus.

All of the actions in the paragraph above take place in the present, except for this sentence:

If she doesn’t find her class, the bus will leave without her.

The sentence above shows what will happen in the future depending on whether Mary finds her class. The timing of the action demands a change in tense.

Paragraph rewritten in past tense:

Mary visited the zoo with her class. She got lost and began to cry. A clown carrying balloons walked by, but he paid no attention to her. Mary was scared. If she didn’t find her class, the bus would leave without her. However, her teacher usually conducted a roll call on the bus.

Notice that all the verbs switched to the past tense except in this sentence:

If she didn’t find her class, the bus would leave without her.

In the conditional sentence above, the timing of the action demands that the tense be changed in the independent clause of the sentence.

It’s important to maintain verb tense consistency to avoid confusing readers. Good editors will find and correct errors in verb tense consistency. Mistakes can slip into the manuscripts of the very best writers. That’s why it makes sense to find a good editor.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

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Singular and Plural Pronouns

February 5, 2017 — Leave a comment

Grammar Police BadgeWhen critiquing the work of other writers, one of the most common mistakes I find is the use of a plural pronoun to refer to a singular antecedent. I’m indebted to one of my high school English teachers (thank-you, Mrs. K.) for taking the time to teach how to use pronouns. Here is one of the rules that Mrs. K. taught:

A singular pronoun must refer to a singular antecedent; a plural pronoun must refer to a plural antecedent.

Examples:

Mr. Brown (antecedent) reported that his (pronoun) chicken was stolen.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown (antecedents) reported that their (pronoun) chicken was stolen.

Can you spot the error in the sentence below?

If the chicken thief is caught, they will go to jail.

In the sentence above, chicken thief is a singular antecedent. The pronoun they is plural. So many writers use they to refer to a singular antecedent. The rule states that a plural pronoun must refer to a plural antecedent.

Here is one way to correct the sentence:

If the chicken thief is caught, he will go to jail.

The singular pronoun he refers to the singular antecedent chicken thief. The rule states that a singular pronoun must refer to a singular antecedent. Since chicken thief and he are singular, the corrected sentence follows the rule.

Suppose there were two (or more) chicken thieves. Then the following sentence would be correct:

If the chicken thieves are caught, they will go to jail.

The plural pronoun they refers the to the plural antecedent chicken thieves. The rule states that a plural pronoun must refer to a plural antecedent.  Since chicken thieves and they are plural, the sentence in question follows the rule.

Some readers may recall that the American Dialect Society named the singular pronoun “they” to be the 2015 Word of the Year. Others may agree with the article by Jen Dole that declares that the singular “they” must be stopped. For the record, I’m siding with Jen, who states:

I’m not ranting against use of they as a preferred gender pronoun, but instead, in (the more frequent) cases in which it’s simply the easy way out, and, I think, indicative of sloppy writing.

Of course, fans of Jane Austen may call attention to her  frequent use of the singular “they”/”their”/”them”/”themselves” construction. For readers looking for authoritative guidance, Nicholae Cline, a librarian at Indiana University, wrote an article that outlines the positions of various academic style guides.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

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How to Avoid Faulty Pronoun References

January 29, 2017 — Leave a comment

Grammar Police BadgeFaulty pronoun references plague the manuscripts of many writers. The wise writer makes certain that each pronoun he writes refers clearly to one noun, known as the antecedent. The antecedent of a pronoun cannot be an adjective, a possessive noun, a clause, or a phrase.

If a pronoun references more than one antecedent, the sentence should be reworded to eliminate confusion. Another option is to eliminate the pronoun.

Error: Pronoun References Multiple Antecedents

Example:

When Bobby saw the clown, he screamed.

In the sentence above, it is not clear who screamed. Did Bobby scream? Did the clown scream?  The reader has to guess.

Example corrected:

Bobby screamed when he saw the clown.

In the reworded sentence, Bobby is clearly the antecedent of he. The vague pronoun reference is eliminated.

Example corrected (alternative):

When Bobby saw the clown, Bobby screamed.

In the example above, the pronoun he is eliminated and replaced with Bobby.

Error: No Antecedent for a Pronoun

Another common writing error occurs when there is no antecedent for a pronoun.

Example:

Mary called the hot line, but they did not answer.

In the example above, they has no noun antecedent to which it can refer. The solution to this problem is to change the pronoun without an antecedent into a noun.

Example corrected:

Mary called the hot line, but the operator did not answer.

In the example above, they is replaced by the operator.

Error: Pronoun References a Clause

Sometimes writers erroneously use a pronoun to refer to a group of words instead of one clear noun antecedent.

Example:

She did not lock the door, which was very irresponsible.

The pronoun which in the example above has no clear antecedent.  A pronoun must always refer to a single, unmistakable antecedent. A pronoun should not be used to refer to an entire clause.

Example corrected:

She did not lock the door. Her behavior was very irresponsible.

The rewritten sentence above makes the meaning clear.

Error: Pronoun References an Entire Sentence

In the example below, a pronoun is used to refer to an entire sentence instead of a single noun antecedent.

Example:

Jill phoned David last night to criticize his driving. This made David very angry.

In the example above, “this” is a vague pronoun.

Example corrected:

Jill phoned David last night to criticize his driving. Jill’s criticism made David very angry.

Error: Pronoun References a Possessive Noun

Some writers like to use a possessive noun as the antecedent for a pronoun; however, a possessive noun functions as an adjective.

Example:

In White’s novel Charlotte’s Web, he tells the story of a pig’s friendship with a spider.

The pronoun reference in the sentence above is faulty, because the possessive noun White’s can not function as the antecedent of he.

Example corrected:

In his novel Charlotte’s Web, White tells the story of a pig’s friendship with a spider.

Error: Hidden Antecedent

An antecedent is hidden if it serves as an adjective instead of a noun.

Example:

When she removed the candy’s wrapper, it turned out to be chocolate.

In the example above, it should refer to the candy, not the wrapper; however, in the sentence above, candy’s functions as an adjective.

Example corrected:

When she unwrapped the candy, it turned out to be chocolate.

Occasional vague pronoun references plague even the best writers. Be careful. Remember that wise writers use beta readers and editors.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

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“To Be” or Not “To Be”: Help For Distressed Writers

December 15, 2016 — Leave a comment

Grammar Police BadgeEvery day, know-it-all writers patrol online critique groups in a quest to rid manuscripts of “to-be” verbs. One anonymous reviewer suggested that a writer remove all instances of the word “was” from her manuscript. After reading such misguided advice, I decided to devote today’s blog post to this topic.

The Difference Between Active Voice and Passive Voice

Many writers contend that “to be” is always passive and must be avoided; however, it’s a myth that using “to be” in any form constitutes the passive voice. Consider the difference between active voice and passive voice. In an active sentence, the subject is performing the action.

Example of active voice:

Santa fills the stocking.

(Santa is the subject. Santa is the one doing something.)

Example of passive voice:

The stocking is filled by Santa.

In the passive case, the target of the action is placed in the subject position.

For more examples, see the exercises here.

Now look at this sentence: “I am holding a candy cane.” It’s written in active voice, but it uses the verb “am,” which is a form of “to be.” The passive form of that sentence is: “The candy cane is being held by me.”

Clearly, the word “was” (and other “to-be” verbs) cannot be eliminated from writing. The English language employs many tenses. Some tenses use auxiliary verbs. An article by Anne Allen provides additional commentary on this subject.

When To Use Passive Voice

Some science professors prefer the passive voice for lab reports, because they feel it sounds more objective.

Example of active voice in a lab report:

Then we added copper sulfate to the test tube.

Example of passive voice in a lab report:

Copper sulfate was added to the test tube.

People who want to be deceptive (or conceal the subject) often use the passive voice.

Example of deceptive use of passive voice:

Thousands of medical records have been lost.

Written in the active voice, the sentence would pinpoint the culprit:

Dr. Smith lost thousands of medical records.

It’s easy to see why English teachers prefer active voice. Writing in passive voice often results in a lack of clarity. For further reading, see an article by The Writing Center at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.

When To Eliminate “To-Be” Verbs

Unfortunately, many writers rely on “to-be” verbs, and sometimes they aren’t as powerful as other verbs. In other cases, they result in awkward or wordy sentences.

Examples:

Weak writing: Lorraine is loud when she is arguing with her husband.

Stronger writing: Lorraine bellows like a fish wife when she argues with her husband.

Weak writing: The food at the school cafeteria is terrible.

Stronger writing. The food at the school cafeteria tastes bland.

Weak writing:  Sylvia was introduced to classical music at a young age.

Stronger writing: Sylvia’s mother introduced her to classical music at a young age.

Weak writing:  Every time an attempt was made to call for help, he covered her mouth.

Stronger writing: Every time she attempted to call for help, he covered her mouth.

Weak writing: Ellen is afraid of sharks.

Stronger writing: Ellen fears sharks.

Weak writing: The moon was covered by clouds.

Stronger writing: The moon, covered by clouds, warned of a late-night rainstorm.

A handout from The Writing Center at St. Louis Community College provides more examples.

Thanks for reading. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to share them here. (Comments are moderated.)

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

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