Archives For Readers Ask

Readers AskQUESTION: What’s the problem with opening a novel with dialogue?

Answer: I prefer not to open with dialogue, but there are writers who do it successfully. Most people are familiar with Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White (you know, the White who coauthored The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition with Strunk). The first line of White’s famous book is etched in my memory:

“Where’s Papa going with that axe?” said Fern.

In the case of Charlotte’s Web, the opening draws the reader into the story, right into the middle of some exciting conflict. However, it’s risky to open with dialogue when the reader has no context for what is taking place. Similarly, it’s chancy to open with a character’s thoughts (interior monologue).

If an opening makes a reader feel disoriented, (s)he might not continue reading. Although some authors get away with opening a novel with dialogue, it’s better to introduce the characters and setting first. If a character speaks before a reader knows anything about the character, the reader may form an image that is different than the author’s. Then, as more details about the character come to light, it could be quite jarring to the reader if he is forced to change his mental image of that character. Some readers even create voices in their heads when they read dialogue. Imagine a reader’s frustration if he has to recreate a character’s voice.

There’s nothing like a real-life example. Suppose for a moment that you’re a single woman at a party. Some guy you’ve never met walks up to you and says, “Let’s get out of here.” That line will certainly get your attention but maybe not in a good way. Now consider the same scenario, except that a friend introduces that guy as the Chief of Neurosurgery at a well-known hospital before he tries to whisk you away. Maybe you still wouldn’t want to leave with him, but you might decide to steer him to the punch bowl. Dialogue means nothing without proper context.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

Readers AskQUESTION: Popular writer, Mr. [Name Removed], insists that fiction writers should never use semicolons. What’s wrong with using semicolons?

ANSWER: Semicolons in fiction aren’t taboo. The idea of banning a punctuation mark in fiction is patently ridiculous. Ask popular fiction writer Jojo Moyes. The first line of her book Still Me contains a semicolon (and lots of other punctuation marks):

It was the mustache that reminded me I was no longer in England: a solid, grey millipede firmly obscuring the man’s upper lip; a Village People mustache, a cowboy mustache, the miniature head of a broom that meant business.

Jojo Moyes isn’t the only great writer to use semicolons, and no competent writer should eliminate them. To tell a writer not to use a semicolon would be  like telling a painter not to use the color blue. Semicolons are an integral part of a writer’s toolbox. While some writing teachers advise beginning writers not to use semicolons, this advice does not apply to seasoned writers. A wise mother would not give a toddler a serrated knife, but that doesn’t mean she would carve a steak with a table knife. Semicolons should never be used randomly; however, there are times when only a semicolon will do.

Just as great musicians realize that people have eyes as well as ears and often choreograph their performances, great writers know that writing is more than printed words on a page. Because I have a musical background, I like to think about the way words sound when I read them aloud. So much meaning can be conveyed with punctuation. In music, a composer has to have a way to tell the musician how quickly a particular passage should be played, from Larghissimo (very, very slow) to Prestissimo (200 bpm and over). There are also ways for a composer to tell musicians to hold a certain note a little longer. Likewise, writers have different ways of punctuating sentences to control the flow.

In Keys to Great Writing: Mastering the Elements of Composition and Revision, Stephen Wilbers writes:

It [the semicolon] creates a pause shorter than the period, slightly shorter than the colon, and longer than the comma. To eliminate it entirely from your repertoire is to limit your range as a writer.

A semicolon is used to join to phrases in a way that suggests a connection. For example, consider the following:

Owning a violin is one thing; playing it is another.

“You teach yourselves the law, but I train your minds. You come in here with a skull full of mush; you leave thinking like a lawyer.” — Charles W. Kingsfield Jr., The Paper Chase

“Every person in this house almost flunked out of law school in their first year. It’s not hard to see why; they had broads on the brain.” — William Moss, Tutor, The Paper Chase

In each of the examples above, the independent clause immediately following each semicolon is related to the independent clause preceding the semicolon. The semicolon separates, but it still implies a link.

Look again at the first example:

Owning a violin is one thing; playing it is another.

Now look at some other ways to punctuate the same example:

Owning a violin is one thing, but playing it is another.

Owning a violin is one thing. Playing it is another.

Owning a violin is one thing—playing it is another.

Punctuation allows experienced writers to control the cadence and flow of their writing. Eliminating semicolons would prevent writers from having a full artistic range of expression. Remember the snippet of dialogue from the movie Amadeus:

Emperor Joseph II: My dear young man, don’t take it too hard. Your work is ingenious. It’s quality work. And there are simply too many notes, that’s all. Just cut a few and it will be perfect.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?

The thought of removing notes from Mozart’s compositions would make any musician cringe—just as I’d cringe if Jojo Moyes removed the semicolon from the opening line of her book Still Me.

There are no absolutes in writing. As Annie Proulx, who once won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, said:

You should write because you love the shape of stories and sentences and the creation of different words on a page. Writing comes from reading, and reading is the finest teacher of how to write.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

readers-ask

QUESTION: What is “on the nose” dialogue?

ANSWER: When a character says exactly what he thinks or feels, writers refer to this as “on the nose” dialogue. Inexperienced writers tend to use this kind of dialogue exclusively. Skillful writers aim to use dialogue with subtext. Dialogue with subtext reveals a character’s thoughts in more subtle ways.

Most writers are familiar with Vito Corleone’s famous line from The Godfather: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” Corleone says this line when Johnny Fontane (his godson) laments that a movie director, Mr. Woltz,  won’t give him the lead role in a Hollywood movie. Suppose that instead of the famous “make him an offer he can’t refuse” line, Vito Corleone had said:

Perhaps if Woltz wakes up with the bloody head of his expensive horse next to him, he’ll change his mind!

The example above demonstrates “on the nose” dialogue. The line doesn’t leave anything to the imagination. Few people wouldn’t agree that the original line is better, because it doesn’t specify how the powerful Vito Corleone will deal with Woltz.  The viewer can surmise that Mr. Woltz is in big trouble.

Is it ever reasonable to use “on the nose” dialogue?  In truth, not every line needs to be filled with subtext. Recall this dialogue from the movie Taken that Bryan Mills says  to Marko while preparing him for torture:

You know, we used to outsource this kind of thing. But what we found was the countries we outsourced to had unreliable power grids. Very Third World. You’d turn on a switch – power wouldn’t come on, and then tempers would get short. People would resort to pulling fingernails. Acid drips on bare skin. The whole exercise would become counterproductive. But here, the power’s stable. Here, there’s a nice even flow. Here, you can flip a switch and the power stays on all day.

In the dialogue above, Bryan doesn’t leave anything to the imagination about his experience in using torture to get information, but in this case, the dialogue works beautifully. Imagine if Bryan had said this instead:

I have ways of getting people to tell me what I want to know.

Doesn’t the original dialogue seem more effective at awakening a sense of dread? Writers must develop judgement about when and how to engage viewers/readers by weaving subtext into the dialogue to subtly reveal a character’s emotions (i.e. anger, jealousy, desire). Good writers avoid “on the nose” dialogue to state the obvious.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

readers-ask

QUESTION: Why are writers told not to use mirrors to provide character descriptions?

ANSWER: Many writers use mirrors as a way to sneak character description into their stories with minimal effort. Seasoned writers avoid this method, because it’s considered lazy writing. In fact, the use of mirrors as a way to provide the description of a character has been done so often that it’s considered a cliché.

How to Describe the Viewpoint Character

The reason writers tend to use mirrors (or reflections) is that the protagonist is often the viewpoint character. Writers don’t want to commit point-of-view errors, and mirrors are a convenient way to allow the viewpoint character to see and describe herself. Fortunately, there are ways to provide character descriptions without resorting to mirrors. One method is to use other characters to give a description through dialogue. Another method is to have the viewpoint character look at another character and compare that character’s physical appearance or clothing to her own. It’s also possible to drop subtle hints. For example, if the character is a petite cheerleader named Joan, one could write something like:

Joan didn’t get along with Molly, the head cheerleader, but Molly needed her for the top of the pyramid.

Then readers will have a reasonable idea about Joan’s size.

Breaking the Rule

Most of the time, it’s best to come up with a way to describe a character without using reflections or mirrors. Of course, there are successful authors who break this rule. The Moonlit Garden, by Corinna Bomann (translated by Alison Layland), begins with a character looking into a mirror. The opening line is simple: “Helen Carter gazed in bewilderment at her reflection in the mirror.” A description of the character’s cheeks, eyes, and makeup ensues. At the time of this writing, this book has 3,279 reviews on Amazon.com that average four stars. The book also begins with a prologue, but that’s a topic for another day.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com

readers-ask

QUESTION: Should the protagonist be introduced on the first page?

ANSWER: Experienced writers often introduce the protagonist on the first page. To create empathy for the hero, get readers interested in him as close to the beginning of the story as possible. There are exceptions. Some writers choose to introduce the antagonist first. Although it’s less common, minor characters can appear in prologues and framing devices.

There are disadvantages to delaying the protagonist’s introduction. Readers like to experience a story through the eyes of one character and go on an emotional journey with that character. If the first character the reader meets is not the protagonist, the reader might feel disoriented and stop reading. It’s important to show a clear connection between the first character introduced and the protagonist in cases when the story opens with a character other than the protagonist.

In The Terminator, the nemesis (a cyborg from the future) appears first. This technique works because a powerful antagonist creates anticipation and concern for the protagonist (a waitress named Sarah Connor). While this example is from film, writers of thrillers often begin novels in a similar fashion.

Still, one of the chief reasons agents pass on manuscripts is a lack of empathy for the protagonist. To prevent this problem, show what makes the main character tick pronto. Convey the protagonist’s essence. A good opening scene sums up who the character is at his core using actions. The protagonist should show his defining qualities (admirable traits, serious flaws) through his behavior. While there are exceptions to nearly all writing guidelines, new writers benefit from using proven methods. Authors rarely go wrong by introducing the protagonist first.

Until next time,

Write something you love! — Joanne

WriteSomethingYouLove.com